I listed some mens's Next knickers on eBay, as we had bought the wrong size by accident. Even a Walrus does not need XL!

And I got a message, like this...

Hi,
I've been looking for these in the shops for ages, how much do you want for them, and would you consider ending the auction early? - and for all 5 pairs!

Now we all know what is going on here. This is somebody trying to fool me into ending the auction early for his low bid, instead of waiting patiently to see how much the item actually gets.

So, I told him...

You won't see them in shops unless you go into Next shops. It's an auction, I'll be happy with whatever the highest bidder is willing to pay. I recently missed buying a superb musical instrument because the seller was stupid enough to fall for the "will you end the auction early" crap one sometimes sees, and took less than half what I was about to bid. Sorry to be blunt, but what other reason would there be for that question than to get an item for less than it would get if one waited for all the last minute bids? All five pairs if you win the auction, no problem!

It's true, there was an antique mandolin I fancied, dated back to 1880ish. Lovely example with only one small repair, that I could have done, required. I was all set, two days before the end of the auction, I went to bid £120. "The item has ended." The stupid seller had been talked into taking much less by one of these jerks.

Oh, yes, I got a reply to my message...

Yeah, that's actually what I meant - because they're from Next, i presumed it was clear that's what I meant.
And, I was only asking, and I asked politely.

Thanks for your, clearly wasted, time.

"I was only asking". Yeah, mate, you were only asking politely for something eBay does not allow, and it was rather nice of me not to report you. Tom_P........ you are officially pants.